tennants-companion:

so I was forced to go to church and all these babies were screaming and I said “we wouldn’t be having this problem if the church supported abortion” and the guy next to me almost had a heart attack

notahoe:

eyebrows can literally either make you or break you

jinn0uchi:

the-hatred-machine:

purgatorystuck:

Mi papá tiene 47 años= my dad is 47 years old

Mi papa tiene 47 anos= my potato has 47 assholes

I love spanish

A capital letter changes it even further:

Mi Papa tiene 47 anos = My pope has 47 anuses

literally the best post I have seen on this website

emilioestevez:

story time

so about 7 months ago, my girlfriend at the time asked me to move in. so i did and we lived together for roughly 6 weeks. she asked me to move out until i was mature enough to live with a girl because in those 6 weeks i drew a dick on her face while she was sleeping 11 times.

vvierd:

vvierd:

do you ever look in a mirror and think why.…

am i so perfect